i’m now living with not one but THREE people who have no concept of the fact that they’re slightly homophobic. conversations today included one of them asking why there were so many more gay guys than lesbians, which when i tried to explain that a lot of times you wouldn’t actually realize someones sexual orientation they said “oh i think i know what a lesbian looks like”. as conversations shifted i raised the point that there is a stigma attached to men kissing other men so while women will fool around with other women and talk about it freely, men can’t do that because people automatically assume they are gay which is dumb since the same standard does not apply to women. the response there was that men don’t kiss other men casually because “who would want to see that”. I tried to keep my cool but literally the entire conversation (because it was a lot more) I just wanted to yell “REALLY YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT A QUEER PERSON LOOKS LIKE YOURE SITTING WITH ONE” and start talking about how much I love shipping male television characters with each other for fun.
Its just getting so trying because I’m a very argumentative person but I’m also a very sensitive person and I don’t know these people well enough to feel that I can really challenge them without explaining to them why I feel so strongly about these things but if I say it then I risk backfire because they might be even more homophobic than they sound. or they could just be kind of ignorant and maybe they would back off. but i have to live with them and i’m petrified that if i suddenly blurt out that i generally sleep with women that they’re going to get weird, angry that i hadn’t said anything before, and even worse. I’m going to miss living in Nashville when I leave in a week and a half but I’m not going to miss dealing with this. I’m not going to miss having to constantly be aware of being different when I don’t like to even THINK of myself as different and just eugh. you don’t know a fucking lesbian when you see one. go be heterosexual and rude somewhere else.
just registered to volunteer for the Obama campaign in Nashville and they’re giving me 10% off any item from the store. Looks like i’ll be buying myself a back to school present in a few months. once i have money.
didn’t realize it was this weekend until yesterday, went with my best friend at 8 this morning and just got back. it was AMAZING im exhausted but have so many pictures to put up and just feel so great overall. what an empowering and welcoming day. eugh. so perfect. can’t wait to do it next weekend in Nashville! Double Pride! Yes!
I know literally no one in this city who would want to go to Pride with me so I figured hey, why not just volunteer?! That way I don’t have to feel lame and like I’m missing out at home because I’m too shy to go alone, and I have a way to sort of meet people. It will still be a little awkward not knowing anybody at all but I’m really excited because this means I’m officially going to be able to go! Just printed out my free volunteer ticket for the kickoff party at the Hard Rock Cafe next Thursday, just waiting to get my official assignment for the weekend. Yay!