Its been so long since I’ve felt my wrists
against anything other than
the leather that I used to 
make them feel better about
their state. 
I hung my conditions out a long time ago
and dropped the match
a light instead of a line seemed a fair trade, what a 
romantic way to save yourself
the mess.
But I was wrong
I guess
about the wording and instead of
burning I got bruising because the
hurt from having messed it up 
was worse than the suggestion
that I hadn’t. 
No, it was a light and not a line
I mean, a line, it was, the light that let me
know that my own skin was feeling
sorry for my momentary collapse. 
Judgment is a hard thing to address as a 
relapse but its all becoming clear to me
so really all it would appear to be
is leather
that had missed my company. 

I wrote this song almost 2 years ago about the single most important person in my life who I had to cut out of my life completely because things were getting too painful and who just decided to reenter without any warning last night and its feeling rather current so, i felt the need to share. 

The stretch of sudden longing
brings a width of emptiness
when what you struggle for is worth it
it will wait
But what to do with all the talking
That they wait for in your mess
if what you say is less than perfect
will they stay
and if you’re aching while you bend
they’ll break you when you try to mend
sometimes the time to stand is all it takes
The least amount of purging
does the most to set you free
if what you carry is for safety
it’s all right
And if it’s you who does the hurting
it doesn’t matter what they see
and you can let them do the praying
for your life
and if you’re aching while you bend
they’ll break you when you try to mend
sometimes the darkest moments aren’t at night
and if you’re falling when  you stand
they’ll call on you to have a plan
and put your own destruction on the line